G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Mini-Series 2, Episode 4
"The Revenge of Cobra Part 4: Battle on the Roof of the World"
Original Airdate: September 13, 1984
Writer: Ron Friedman
Director: Dan Thompson
Cast: Gregg Berger, Chris Latta, Zack Hoffman, Keone Young, Arthur Burghardt, Kene Holliday, Neil Ross, Mary McDonald-Lewis
Now this is the kind of chaos I want from G.I. Joe. "Battle on the Roof of the World" has everything, from a tense detente underneath a boiling hot atoll to an impromptu, high stakes hockey match with a "puck" the size of a VW Bug. There's all that and so much juicy bickering between every bad guy that I briefly forgot this program's supposed to be brainwashing me into demanding toys from my parents.
The episode starts with the swift solution of a cliffhanger as Lady Jaye and Shipwreck use various javelins, hooks, and cartoon physics to avoid falling to their death. Reminder: Major Bludd ended up flying away with the Hydro Master, making the score Cobra: 1, Joes: 0. Moving on!
Back on the Island of No Return, Baroness is having another very bad day. Honestly, any time Baroness has to lead troops in the field, she's having a bad day. She's constantly shouting, losing her damn mind as everything falls apart around her (which is why Baroness and Nadja from What We Do In the Shadows are the same to me). Of course you would be losing your mind too if you had to rely on Storm Shadow, Firefly, and Zartan in the field. Cobra is a mess!
Let's start with Storm Shadow. Continuing from last time, Storm Shadow and Spirit are engaged in a battle over control of the Ion Correlator. After going over a waterfall, they've ended up in a cavern underneath the island. After proving to be evenly matched — they literally punch each other out at the same time — Spirit and Storm Shadow realize that they don't have enough oxygen or really even time to waste fighting. The tide is coming in fast. "We must dwell on this," Spirit says, calmly, as the two sit down to, well, dwell on it.
While they dwell on what Storm Shadow calls the "eternal secret," let's dwell on Spirit and Storm Shadow. It's wild going back to the cartoons and realizing that Sunbow absolutely intended these two to be rivals. It's a tad more interesting than just pairing the two ninjas together, which is what Larry Hama ended up doing when he reached the end of the now classic G.I. Joe #21, "Silent Interlude." Published in December 1983, the end of that issue revealed that Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes had matching tattoos of a hexagram from the I Ching. Thus Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes would be forever linked in the comics, toys, and films — but not the original cartoons (I believe the two would forge a connection in the DIC continuation in the early '90s, which I'll get to in a few years; please ensure this site can last a few years). By my estimation, "Revenge of Cobra" was probably written in the summer of 1983, before Hama had introduced Storm Shadow, let alone made that connection with Snake Eyes. And Storm Shadow's original filecard, which would be all Ron Friedman had to go on if he looked at it at all, is notoriously vague. So, with Snake Eyes and Duke hostages of Cobra, Friedman paired the Cobra ninja with Spirit.
Good thing for Storm Shadow, because Spirit comes up with an idea: they can ride the current to the surface, breathing the air trapped underneath the Ion Correlator. It works and, out of respect for saving his life, Storm Shadow lets Spirit take the Ion Correlator. Can you imagine the expletives Baroness would let loose if she found out about this?
But Spirit won't get far with the correlator, because there are Cobra troops scaling the rock wall up to him, lead by Firefly. Oh man, Firefly! Cobra's head saboteur, the guy whose filecard lists "terror" as a specialty and says that "no one has ever reported seeing him enter or leave any target area." Except Freedom, the eagle, who immediately sees Firefly and knocks him flat on his ass.
Firefly's efficacy as a saboteur is disproportionate to how cool he looks.
Still, Baroness can rest assured knowing that a handful of Cobra troops are still chasing Spirit. That eagle can't take them all on! Enter: Zartan, who's taken his orders to provide backup for Baroness way too literally. He's, like, so far back that Baroness hasn't even seen him yet. That's because Zartan is playing both sides so that he always comes out on top. He wants the Joes and Cobra to tie with one fragment each, so he fires upon the mountainside, causing it to split open, sending the troops falling ... to their deaths?? Maybe! Spirit gets away with the Ion Correlator in a Dragonfly piloted by Wild Bill [1983 retail: $8.99].
Baroness is surrounded by idiots, and I love them all.
Cobra's discord continues back at the Cobra Temple — not that Discord. Actual discord. Now I'm picturing what a Cobra Discord would be like. Cobra Commander would @ everyone in every message. Anyway — Destro is gloating to himself, recapping the plot for kids who didn't get home in time on Monday through Wednesday. Cobra Commander overhears Destro saying "I," which sets CC off.
"'I,' Destro? Surely you mean 'we' because unless we recover all three pieces of our Dominator and reassemble them before G.I. Joe, all of us will be finished!!"
Destro doesn't sweat it, because he's like 6'5" and could hammer Cobra Commander into submission with one headbutt from his chrome-plated head. Destro's about to launch the retrieval mission for the Laser Core — at the Roof of the World!
This is around when the B-plot pulls into the desert temple, literally. The convoy of 18-wheelers Cobra commandeered arrive at their destination, with Roadblock and Honda Lou West onboard. Elsewhere, CC is throwing a fit, smashing a chair into his computer terminal and then blaming the destruction on some poor Cobra IT worker (get a new job, guys!).
Roadblock then sneaks up on Cobra Commander, puts him in a headlock, absconds with him, and then chucks "probably the most dangerous man alive" into an oncoming squad of Cobra officers. It's degrading, humiliating, ridiculous, and absolutely fantastic.
Roadblock and Honda Lou's escape isn't well thought out, if it's thought out at all. The plan seemed to be to run around and, upon seeing Cobra Commander, Roadblock couldn't help himself. Stealth? Who needs stealth when you're Roadblock and Honda Lou?! Still, the vibes crash the instant Scrap-Iron — Cobra Commander's #1 toadie — cuts off their escape.
Roadblock and Honda end up in the Arena of Sport, as one does, reuniting with Duke and Snake Eyes just in time to engage in some Tron-inspired battle nonsense — or Tronsense, I guess.
Meanwhile, at the Roof of the World — ! The Palace of Doom contingent — Gung-Ho, Shipwreck, Flint, and Lady Jaye — have connected with Spirit and are now heading into arctic action with Snow Job. Snow Job, I must point out, remains an absolute snack.
There's a fun little moment where, after Flint and Lady Jaye hop in their bobsled, Shipwreck wonders who's going to ride with him. Gung-Ho tells Shipwreck to "get a date some other time" while ... is he booping his lips? Or just gesturing really close to Shipwreck's face?
The Joes and Destro's team, including MVP Major Bludd, arrive at the Laser Core at the same time — completely unaware that Zartan and the Dreadnoks are watching from above! These guys, sheesh, I feel for the Dreadnoks. Zartan refuses to clue them into his plan and he keeps screaming about reaching "the secret crevice" (not crevasse) despite the constant threat of avalanche. The 'noks should've known something was up when Zartan made all of them pack their Flintstones-esque winter wardrobe for a mission to a tropical island.
After watching the good guys and bad guys don ice skates and compete for the Laser Core, the Dreadnoks spring into action. They essentially lasso the thing and haul it away, prompting Zartan to make his big move. He'll hand over the Laser Core to whichever side can pay the most for it! And then he goes ahead and causes an avalanche, ignoring the fact that Destro, Flint, and company have to be alive in order to bid. Will they all die in an avalanche? We'll find out in the first 15 seconds of the next episode!
PERSONNEL REPORT
Duke and Roadblock have a shared high five! This is more believable than the eight hours of bro-tastic gamer banter between these two in G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
When Baroness — wearing a sick helmet — clocks Zartan at the Roof of the World, she doesn't radio Cobra Commander with her suspicion. Of course she calls Destro. That's love, baby.
I also just have to highlight Buzzer's body language while Zartan is shouting his demands.
This guy would rather be anywhere else.
STRAY BLASTS
If you're looking for deep analysis of what Storm Shadow and Spirit represent as pop culture avatars of often misrepresented peoples ... uh, above my sociological pay grade.
Do Storm Shadow and Spirit embody some uncomfortable stereotypes that American pop culture perpetuates about Japanese and Native American people? Yeah, and pairing them off as rivals really accentuates the noble warrior trope frequently associated with both. It also doesn't help that Spirit's actual tribe is a bit of a mystery; his filecard says he's from Taos, New Mexico, which points to the Pueblo peoples.
But, like I mentioned with Roadblock previously, if there's one thing G.I. Joe always avoided, it's tokenism. Neither Storm Shadow nor Spirit are tasked with representing an entire culture. Native Hawaiian Torpedo, the Joes' expert diver and resident party animal, is already repping for AAPI people; we'll meet Quick Kick in the next five-parter, a Japanese/Korean stuntman who loves impersonating Humphrey Bogart. And Spirit is the second Joe of Native origin, following Airborne, a member of the Navajo tribe who appeared in the first mini-series. So, I don't know — quite literally, I don't know. But it's cool that G.I. Joe was committed to D.E.I. to some degree. It's almost like that's the American way.
All that being said — Storm Shadow was another character of color who the producers matched with an actor that the audience would not see. He was voiced by Keone Young, who was born in Hawaii to a Chinese and Japanese immigrants and is absolutely someone you recognize if you watched TV in the '80s and '90s. But when it came time for Spirit, he was voiced by Gregg Berger, who is of Russian-Jewish descent. So, there is that. He also voiced Odie and Grimlock, because voice actors have wild resumes.
The Roof of the World is somehow an actual term for a region in Asia and not just a ridiculous G.I. Joe-ism like "Palace of Doom" or "The Devil's Cauldron." It includes the Himalayas, Nepal, and presumably Cobra-La. To think that Golobulus could have been close to snatching the Laser Core!
Roadblock sings the G.I. Joe theme while brawling with the Cobra officers, which means this song exists in-universe. We'll hear it again later, don't worry.
Thanks to Half the Battle, Yo Joe!, 3D Joes, Joe Guide, and Joepedia for all of their research.
Until next time, reading is half the battle!
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