Star Wars: Skeleton Crew Episode 6
"Zero Friends Again"
Writer: Myung Joh Wesner
Director: Bryce Dallas Howard
Cast: Ravi Cabot-Conyers, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Kyriana Kratter, Robert Timothy Smith, Nick Frost, and Jude Law
Last week, the crew of the Onyx Cinder infiltrated an adults-only resort in their most exhilarating adventure yet. Pursued by Jod's old pirate buddies through the underground mud grottos of Lanupa, they braved a series of lethal Indiana Jones traps to reach the lair of the legendary Tak Rennod. Coordinates to At Attin finally secured, the lure of the Old Republic's last planet-shaped mint proved too much for Jod, and he turned on the children, wresting the captaincy (i.e., control over SM-33) from Fern. Fortunately, the kids managed to escape through a trapdoor …
… and into a garbage chute!
Bryce Dallas Howard (who's helmed some of the better episodes of The Mandalorian, as well as that middling one with Lizzo and Jack Black) picks up right where we left off. Sadly, this is one of those odd 33-minute episodes endemic to Disney+, but returning writer Myung Joh Wesner squeezed in some strong character moments and casual body horror. Plus, we've got some honest-to-goodness stop motion animation from Phil Tippett!
The kids tumble out of the garbage chute onto the part of Lanupa's surface they don't highlight in the brochures. While not nearly as sulfurous, the vast landfill before them is reminiscent of Lotho Minor, the "Junk World" where a gravely wounded Darth Maul got his mechanical spider legs in Clone Wars season four. Floating garbage scows drop heaps of rubbish, which are then pulverized by roaming combines.
The other kids brush themselves off, but KB is initially unable to move.
"Sometimes her augs go bad," Fern explains, "and then she can't move."
Oh.
Maybe that's why she was so reticent to venture down into the spa area last episode. She was worried about getting wet. With help from Wim and Neel, Fern turns KB onto her side. She'll be fine, Fern assures them. They just need to reset her occipital link. Just a little brain surgery. Outside. In a landfill. Cool cool cool.
Meanwhile, Jod emerges topside through a hatch in the landing area. He's laden with gold chains and pearls, hooting with glee. Given the hairline, it looks like he's Mr. T.'s biggest fan, just emerged from the sewer. The hotelier is there with her retinue of hospitality aliens and otherworldly oligarchs, none too pleased. But so too is Jaleel White's Gunter and a detachment of pirates. They're likely still steamed from Jod flooding a chamber with acid as they were trying to catch up with him.
Jod immediately pivots, ready to tell Gunter about the treasure below, but his old crewmate is loyal to Brutus. SM-33, similarly wreathed in gold, is dispatched immediately. Pokkit offers Jod a conciliatory peck on the cheek and saunters off with a Cheshire cat grin. No hard feelings?
Just then, a pair of X-Wings descend and take chase after the pirates. Gunter orders Jod and the droid aboard their ship for a swift retreat.
The children observe the ships from far below, recognizing the X-Wings from their escape from Kh'ymm's observatory. Fresh off Jod's betrayal, Wim is ready to re-frame the X-Wings as the "good guys." The kids try to flag the ships down, but they zoom out of sight, laser focused on the remaining pirate ship. Newly ambulatory, KB says this is too bad, as she now has the coordinates for At Attin downloaded to her brain.
Um. KB? Just how extensive are these "augs" of yours?
Fern is ready to climb several hundred feet out of the landfill to the waiting Onyx Cinder. KB shoots down this idea. Fern takes her friend aside and asks if she's OK. Here's that Peppermint Patty and Marcie dynamic we've been monitoring. It's clear KB is not OK, but Fern is already strategizing how to get the boys on task; when KB protests, it's clear that Fern is unaccustomed to any kind of resistance in this relationship. This is going to be an uphill battle in more ways than one.
Left to their own devices, the boys happen upon a colony of crabs carrying droid parts across what I dearly hope is just snow and not some kind of toxic ash that has doomed our heroes to horrific Chernobyl deaths in the coming decades. These "trash crabs" — thanks, closed captions — can parrot Wim's speech, so he deems them intelligent enough to lead them to safety. Fern and Neel don't like this idea, but Wim insists that Fern's proposed climb will kill them.
"I'm not doing this stupid baby fight with you!" Fern snaps. Huge laugh from me. The power dynamics in this group are so rich and so fun. The girls are probably a year older than the boys, and at this age it makes all the difference in these arguments.
KB decides to follow the trash crabs with Wim, which will make more sense in a bit. Fern drags Neel along with her to attempt the climb.
We now turn our attention momentarily to Captain Brutus's deep space command center. The Shistavanen oversees a raucous kangaroo court, declaring Jod guilty. Before they can escort him to the nearest air lock, a stickler speaks up for the Pirate Code and Jod's Right of Last Appeal.
This affords Jod time to rub elbows with his old crew, appealing to their common greed. If they let him live, he'll lead them to the treasure planet. It's a good bit of soft-shoe. "Glitter-speech," Brutus calls it. But it works. They're in. But if he fails to deliver, it's right back to the airlock.
As we return to Lanupa, a garbage scow dumps its cargo at the base of the Paramount logo. Shots fired.
Wim's no dummy. He knows there's a Great Pumpkin quality to his faith in the trash crabs and KB's decision to follow in this fool's errand is more about her frustration with Fern. By the time he asks her about it, the girl is slumped over, unable to move. Her augs are corroded from all the moisture they've encountered. She wearily talks Wim through the process of gathering droid servos from the trash crabs to improvise repairs to her cybernetic implants.
High above, Neel struggles to keep up with Fern as they make their way up a service ladder on a wall leading to the Onyx Cinder. She spies some nearby rope and starts formulating a backup plan.
Wim gathers enough wire to melt down into a makeshift fuse. KB knew her circuitry was failing, hence her reluctance to take on the perilous climb. She's been hesitant to confide in Fern that her newly augmented body — a consequence of a recent accident — isn't always up for their ever-demanding adventures. Wim tries to spin this as Fern treating KB as if they're on equal footing, but KB explains that their differences shouldn't be ignored. To emphasize this, she bows her head and goes about removing the back of it. Wim assists in removing a resonator housing she ejects from deep within her skull. They're going to replace a micro-fuse.
The whole scene is pretty extraordinary, in part because we finally learn just how extensive, and fragile, KB's augmentations truly are. Kyriana Kratter turns in another thoughtful performance as KB comes to terms with her physical limitations, gently guiding Wim through this meatball surgery. KB is afraid to confront Fern, fearing she's too impatient to accommodate her. Then she'll have zero friends again. Wim's worldview isn't as nuanced, so he thinks it would be dumb of Fern not to understand, and that if she doesn't, he and Neel will still be KB's friend. KB's smile at this could render Hoth an ocean planet.
Speaking of melting, they need to act fast and melt down the collected wires to create that new fuse. KB is fading fast. Wim uses her pocket torch and pours the molten metal into a tiny mold KB makes in the sand. He's able to get the fuse into the resonator and back into her head just in time. KB is back on her feet, fit as a fiddle. "Thanks, Jedi," she says. Wim's smile could set the oceans of Hoth to a slow simmer.
Fern and Neel continue up the ladder, but Fern has aided the boy by securing a guide rope and implementing a more measured pace, calling out each step as they go. Neel feels much safer now. Except, isn't that their ship being hauled away by four smaller tow vehicles?
Meanwhile, the trash crabs begin to slow their march, chanting, "Home. Home." KB and Wim watch in horror as the landscape shifts and a massive crab — a foe befitting an adult rancor — pulls itself over the rise toward them.
"Sir?" whimpers, Wim. "Or, ma'am?"
The creature only roars, shaking huge stop-motion pincers. Phil Tippett's done Harryhausen more than proud with this one. It looks impressive and meshes well with the environment.
Fern and Neel position themselves above the Onyx Cinder as the tow vehicles carry it down toward the landfill. Speaking as someone who works in towing and deals with police, vehicle owners, and scrap yards on a daily basis, this operation is either incredibly efficient or wildly hasty. At least Jod isn't racking up storage fees. Fern and Neel, still tethered together with rope, jump down onto one of the passing tow ships. Fern manages to reach a control yoke behind the long-suffering astromech piloting the thing, and she steers toward the ground.
Surrounded by crabs large and small, Wim and KB spot the ships and wave frantically for help, shouting an SOS into their Fisher Price walkie-talkie. Fern manages to force the whole mess of tow ships toward her friends, and they leap aboard. The big crab is so miffed it yeets a boulder at one of the other tow ships, and the whole constellation of vehicles spirals to the ground like a cast-off marionette. The children manage to land safely on the ground.
"We're getting good at falling," chirps Neel.
They all rush together for cheers and hugs, the boys elated at the adventure, the girls tearful and apologetic. "You're my best friend," they gush in unison.
A distant rumble alerts them to a pretty big problem. Just over a rise, one of the behemoth trash compactors is lurching hungrily toward the Onyx Cinder, writhing mandibles forcing refuse into the hot orange furnace of its belly. "We have to save our ship!" Fern cries, and they race aboard.
Inside, KB goes about the startup process. Canonically, this requires battering that one mechanism with a metal rod. Wim hurries to the turrets to fire on the hulk attempting to devour the ship. Fern and Neel remain in the cockpit to accelerate out of there. There's not enough power to prize themselves from the thing's jaws. They're being eaten alive — face first!
The emergency hull-demolition sequencer, Fern suggests? But SM-33 said to never touch that button! Enormous teeth sink into the hull. Drills whirl. Neel's dark eyes widen in despair. Fern slams on the button and the hull erupts in a series of firecracker explosions. The Cinder's thrusters pull the ship back and upward, out from its ruined exoskeleton like a skink shedding its skin. The true Onyx Cinder emerges, sleek and new, its war cladding sacrificed to the trash-eater. They're jubilant as they ascend into the night.
Only two episodes remain.
