Star Wars: Skeleton Crew Episode 3
"Very Interesting, As An Astrogation Problem"
Writers: Christopher Ford and Jon Watts
Director: David Lowery
Cast: Ravi Cabot-Conyers, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Kyriana Kratter, Robert Timothy Smith, Nick Frost, and Jude Law
"Not everything in the galaxy can be calculated. Sometimes … you have to trust your gut."
What do we know about the fabled treasure planet At Attin?
It's a seemingly peaceful planet peopled by math nerds committed to contributing their efforts toward a "Great Work" — which may or may not be related to a High Republic era movement of the same name. It's a largely human population, but we've also got Ithorians, Rhodians of various hues, Vazooans (like Neel's crush, Roona), and whatever Neel's elephant-folk might be. I'm thinking they're indigenous to the planet, but that's just a hunch. Oh, and plenty of stern Safety Droids to shepherd them through their Stepford lives, all under the watchful gaze of an unseen (at least to us) Supervisor. All this hustle and bustle takes place beneath a hazy atmospheric Barrier with a strict no-fly edict. One that we crashed through last week as our intrepid #SpaceGoonies took off into the wider galaxy.
That illegal exit has Wim's dad, Wendle (Tunde Adebimpe), more than a little worried. He and the other parents stew in their nervous juices as the Safety Droids express mild irritation. Attempting a stiff upper lip, Fern's mother, Undersecretary Fara (the always stupendous Kerry Condon) toes the company line. She pulls back the veil a smidge further with some tantalizing lore. She alludes to her childhood on At Attin, and it sounds like the status quo was the same even then, complete with Safety Droids. This — whatever this is — has been going on for some time. When the adults reference the Republic, it's not the New one they're talking about. They're still using Old Republic credits. How deep does this go?
The parents are right to worry, for even now their children are engaged in a derring jailbreak from the bowels of a heavily fortified (at least outwardly) pirate den. The kids escape their cell with the help of the puckish Jod Na Nawood (that's former Captain Silvo to the mutinous). The floating key isn't the only trick up his moth-eaten sleeves. He's able to nudge other objects from a distance to create further diversions for the patrolling guards. The kids ask the obvious question: Why hadn't he made his escape sooner? He says he never had a getaway vehicle until now, and that's fair enough. Port Borgo is a decidedly cutthroat island, and it's not like you can just swim for it once you reach the edge.
"I waited, the Force provided."
You have to wonder if our master escapologist is arrested in development somewhere around the age of a padawan. If he did study as a Jedi, one of the (increasing) number to survive Order 66 and a Galactic Civil War, he's arrived at his hairline with no shortage of trauma. That could explain some odd behavior. Upon reaching the relative safety of their ship — which exudes a visibly hazy funk like Pig-Pen from Peanuts — he somehow allows these children to convince him to turn right around and rescue SM-33. It reads, weirdly, as peer pressure. Maybe Captain Hook is more Peter Pan amidst the Lost Boys.
Jod ventures back into the belly of the beast, the marketplace already on high alert that their former captain is on the loose. He makes his way to a workshop where a number of pillaged protocol droids await repair.
"Did we win?" a Clone Wars era battle droid yelps awake, only for Jod to deactivate it again.
Jod finds SM-33 chained to a work station and powers him up long enough to make a positive ID. My heart skips a beat to learn his little rat buddy returned to his eye socket since escaping the kids' cell last week. Before they can make their escape, Benjar Pranic (a wistful Alfred Molina) limps near, leaning on a crutch of recycled droid parts. The amiable Ishi Tib recognizes Jod and wonders why Captain Brutus would free him just short of his impending trial. Jod opts for the truth here, admitting he freed himself and is off to pursue that long sought big score. Pranic rewards his honesty by summoning the guards.
Back on their stinky old tub, the children speculate about Jod's chances of returning. Wim and Neel are of course enamored of their newfound friend, his defiance of physics, and his fortune cookie maxims. Remember, these two have been LARPing all the iconic Exar Kun v. Ulic Qel-Droma duels out on the playground since they were knee-high to bog rats. To suddenly meet a Jedi in person? Fern is skeptical however, attributing Jod's supposed manipulation of the Force to smoke and mirrors. Or magnets! Tractor beams! Very fine filaments! She hasn't worked it out just yet, but string's the theory.
Last week I mentioned we might have to keep an eye on the Marcy and Peppermint Patty dynamic in the group, and unfortunately that concern has born out. Though the motion to abandon Jod ultimately doesn't go anywhere, Fern assumes KB's tacit agreement and voices a vote on her behalf. KB doesn't seem to mind that Fern's speaking for her, but does object to the idea of taking off alone without adult supervision. Fern argues that Jod is simply after the treasure he mistakenly believes is hidden away on their boring home planet. Just as she's about to suppress democracy with a grim interpretation of maritime law, Jod returns in a stolen dinghy, with Captain Brutus's men in hot pursuit.
Their escape from the yards of Port Borgo is hindered by some surprisingly resilient fuel line, the ship tangled up with other parked freighters in a hopeless rat king. At Brutus's command, a turret rotates to target the fugitives. Jod decides the only way to free the ship is to make the risky jump to hyperspace. They launch forward, the severed umbilical wrenched violently backward into the port, lashing through ships and girders. Enraged, Brutus calls for a bounty on Jod and his meddlesome pups.
With At Attin's coordinates unknown, our heroes plot a course to an old friend of Jod's. She knows something about star maps and is their best bet for finding an uncharted planet lost to history. They may even be able to trust her. Jod is remarkably composed for someone with a death mark on him. Then, he's already survived the Jedi purge.
He makes a big batch of space porridge and only after wolfing down his portion encourages the children to tuck in. "Droid, clean this up," he says dismissively, leaving some dirty dishes to SM-33. To his credit, the bot nudges the bowl to the floor like a cat on a ledge.Forget his mastery over the living Force; the real giveaway to Jod's Jedi lineage is his contempt for droids. We've been aware of a systemic, galaxy-wide distrust of synthetics since Wuher the barkeep waved off Artoo and Threepio back in Episode IV, and Din Djarin's had to overcome a lifelong fear of droids since he was orphaned in the Clone Wars. But it's the Jedi who exhibit a haughty disregard for droids, more condescending than hateful.
"Rely on a droid," Jod says later, "they'll let you down every time." Somebody is crying out to share his past trauma, but we'll put a pin in that for now.
Meanwhile, the children get existential. Is their humdrum home planet really some fabled treasure trove? Does it have to do with the Great Work? All of their parents seem to do work involving money. And what is money anyway? But before Neel can venture too far down the primrose path toward inventing a cryptocurrency, they're thankfully interrupted by Jod reminding them to go to sleep. Such cycles can be confusing out in the black.
Neel and Wim take to side-by-side hammocks — not even space hammocks, regular old hammocks. Neel snores, and the sound that pours out of his little trunk is as adorable as we could've hoped. Fern also slumbers, just as Nero must surely have slept when he set down his apocryphal fiddle. KB stirs, though. She's been calculating the odds that Jod really is a Jedi. "Not everything in the galaxy can be calculated," he says, not reassuringly. "Sometimes…you have to trust your gut." KB doesn't quite promise she'll take the next few hours to rest. Girl, I get it.
Soon enough they arrive on a craggy moon where they touch down at the far corner of the parking lot so they can really get in those steps, single file. Fern deduces that Jod is still actively sneaking, that this friend they're visiting may not be so friendly. Jod concedes that he doesn't fully trust her, that she may figuratively stab them in the backs. The children are understandably bewildered that relationships, even friendships, could possibly be so tenuous. "Never mind," says the adult. "You'll understand when you're old"
Oof.
Jod's fears are well-placed. Even as they approach the dome of Kh'ymm's observatory, she's reporting their presence to a voice over long range comms, promising to stall them until units arrive.
With that bad news out of the way I am exceedingly elated to tell you about Kh'ymm and her whole deal.
She's a hermitted astronomer and she's equal parts owl and pussycat, roughly Yoda-sized, and voiced by Alia Shawkat. We're not told she and Jod — she calls him "Crimson Jack" — were a thing, but I'm going with a narrative that Jod floated the idea and she was hardly interested in mixing relic acquisition with pleasure. Indeed, relic acquisition supersedes all else. She boasts trinkets and gadgets from a thousand worlds. Fern is dismayed at the idea there even are a thousand worlds. Oh god, they think the galaxy is only 6,000 years old don't they?
Unfurling a scroll, Kh'ymm reveals that At Attin is one of nine Jewels of the Old Republic, "planets of wonders kept hidden for their own protection." Most of these worlds were destroyed, but the childrens' home remains, albeit hidden to the larger galaxy. Kh'ymm is one of the few Redditors who still believe it's more than the stuff of lullabies and pirate shanties. There are no maps, but within minutes they're able to narrow down the location to a range of 10,000 worlds through a reverse Google image search of the kids' memories. In terms of nearby planets, they recall Alderaan and Coruscant.
"Alderaan?" laughs Kh'ymm, "Missed the war, did you?"
"What war?" says Neel.
Oh boy.
Kh'ymm further postulates that the "Barrier" the children describe might be gasses from a sanctuary nebula. Spotting some proto-Republic symbols on Fern's Honor Roll badge, she narrows things down even further.
But just as she begins running the parameters, a hiss from her radio gives up the ghost. She's been stalling, and a New Republic patrol has been dispatched to capture Jod. Which…fair. He's a known pirate trafficking children over hyperspace lanes.
Jod threatens to shoot Kh'ymm if she doesn't call them off, but she uses a shrieking Wing Attack, and it's effective! Grappling with Jod on the ground isn't, however, and he soon hurls her into a pile of books. He secures the coordinates to At Attin, blasts the radio, and hurries the children out of the orrery. KB pauses long enough to make sure Kh'ymm is alright, expressing her lack of trust in Jod. Kh'ymm advises her to use her head in the coming journey and promises to heed her call if she ever needs help. We don't see them swap contact info, but the Force provides.
Major character development here as the girls demand answers from "Crimson Jack" before returning to the ship. KB actually attempts to wave down the incoming X-Wings. Even Wim and Neel join in the chorus demanding the truth — the Truth! — from this pied piper. Jod relents. The truth? He's just like them, lost and alone in the galaxy.
But he is a Jedi, right? "I never actually said that."
Ultimately, Jod argues that unlike "Kh'ymm's goons" he will actually get them back to their home. He proposes a partnership, guiding them back to At Attin where he will accept a reward for their safe return, a finder's fee. It's KB, not Fern, who reframes the arrangement. Not partners.
"You work for us. Deal?"
Impressed, Jod agrees and they hurry onto the ship. With two X-Wings in pursuit, Jod orders the kids to their posts: Wim and Fern to cannons, KB to the navigation computer, Neel to the wheel. The child endangerment charges are racking up. Neel has never seen Dumbo. He does not know the falcon in his chest. He screams.
Say what you will about the New Republic these days, but they don't want to shoot down a boat full of kids. It's hairy, but our crew makes it to the far side of the moon where they make their jump to hyperspace.
The X-Wings limp back to the observatory. "Any idea where they're headed?"
"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me," says Kh'ymm.
And that is why it's so important when locating lost treasure planets to create three copies of your data, store them on two different types of media, and keep one copy off-site. Did Dooku's meddling in the archives teach us nothing? Redundant backup servers are a boon to a fledgling galactic Republic.
Next week, the Daniels take our heroes everywhere, all at once!
New episodes of Star Wars: Skeleton Crew premiere on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Disney+
