RuPaul's Drag Race Season 17 is now, to paraphrase Farrah Moan, "a-cookin'." Usually it's Snatch Game that separates the frontrunners from the filler, but I think we're already there. I've watched so much Drag Race that it feels like I can now see future plot points falling down the screen, clicking into place like Tetris blocks.
Instead of going beat-by-beat, as part of my ongoing attempt to figure out — in real time! — what Pop Heist's Drag Race recaps look like, I'm going to spend this week's look at Drag Race 17x04 "Bitch, I'm a Drag Queen!" revisiting the hot takes that my own Drag Race group text submitted before the season premiere. Oh ... how wrong we were!
Let's start with the queen we pegged as first-out ...
Joella
Take a moment. Bow your head or stand and clap, because both responses are equally valid. What a queen. I am struggling to think of a Ru Girl who has caused this much of a commotion, both on the show and amongst the fans, with just four episodes on her resume. And what a way to go out, giving us what is quite possibly the strangest look we've ever seen (perhaps only second to Anastarzia Anaquway's Québec-ky With The Good Hair look from Canada's Drag Race Season 1).

While Joella didn't exactly bomb this truly next-level impossible challenge — wherein the queens had to conceptualize, perform, choreograph, direct, and execute a series of music videos — she definitely didn't shine. Unfortunately, this was just Joella's time. However, if she'd known the words to Snoop's "Buttons" rap ... ? I'm not saying she would have won, but you know the producers would have loved to save her. She will be back for All Stars.
Original Group Placement: 14th
Actual Placement: 13th
Lexi Love
Lexi Love has, without a doubt, cemented herself as a frontrunner — if not the frontrunner — and I think her performance this week did nothing to shake that. While she didn't land in the tippy-top, she gave a strong enough performance that makes me think she won't get tripped up by future acting challenges and she served quilted high-fashion in a literal bucket hat on the runway. She also gave lots of story in the Werk Room, telling the queens about growing up trans in (presumably) Kentucky. It was absolutely the kind of moment that makes you fall in love with a queen even more.

We all stupidly thought Lexi would be an early out, but now I think she could be the winner.
Original Group Placement: 13th
My New Placement: Top 4
Jewels Sparkles
Okay, Jewels did not give much beyond "pretty!" and "bling!" in the Meet the Queens. She is clearly much more than that. I actually think she's a lot more mature, perhaps even wise, for her upsettingly young age. We've already seen that she can buck and sew, and now we can add "steal the scene in a comedy challenge" to her arsenal. She also gives great talking head and she isn't afraid to stir shit up in the Werk Room.
She may be the producer of the season, but I also feel like she faded into the background this week. What Jewels did to Arrietty in the challenge, Onya and Crystal did to Jewels in the edit. This could be a blip in her storyline, and she could take the spotlight again next week. Or this could be an early sign that she'll just barely miss out on the finale.
Original Group Placement: 12th
My New Placement: 6th
Acacia Forgot
That name really was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every week, Acacia is kinda just there — even though she has a solid place in the edit! She's not getting the Robin Fierce treatment, where she's just MIA. Acacia gets talking heads, but she just ... isn't popping. The most memorable thing about her this week wasn't her role as tango-dancin' "Kandy Muse" in the challenge. It was when she comforted Joella as her LA sister during Untucked, half-heartedly ... or maybe whole-heartedly. See, you can't tell with Acacia!
Original Group Placement: 10th
My New Placement: 12th
Crystal Envy
Crystal killed it this week, and I'm not even really talking about her performance as a stern businesswoman in her music video. Crystal's ability to step up, take charge, and actually lead a group of drag queens through this insane challenge? Crystal Envy runs a Drag Race group challenge like it was the Navy. I applaud her for that — and I also applaud her performance as a bizarre, nude illusion tumbleweed. I couldn't tell who Crystal was before, but now? She's going places.
Original Group Placement: 10th
My New Placement: 5th
Lydia Butthole Kollins
If anyone is getting the Robin Fierce edit, it has to be Miss Butthole. Truly, the best thing that Lydia has gifted to Drag Race is an excuse for everyone to say "butthole" all the time. I want to hear Sam Star say "Miss Butthole" every time I get a Slack message. It's a highlight of the season ... and that's kinda it. She didn't stand out in the challenge (granted, her country number was a dud), and she continues to serve Diet Willow Pill on the runway. Still, I think she'll last longer than we initially thought only because some other queens' prospects have cratered.
Original Group Placement: 9th
My New Placement: 8th
Arrietty
Okay, I'm heated. Not as heated as Arrietty, who gave us a lot of simmering tension in this episode. Her short, curt responses at the top of the episode? Just a blunt, "What's good." And then this exchange between Arrietty and last week's winner Sam Star truly sent me into orbit.

Girl, Arrietty was acknowledging facts and Sam Star took it as a sincere congrats.
But I'm heated because, like a freight train we heard coming the instant the promo photos were ruvealed, we finally got to the part where Michelle Visage critiques a queen for having a signature look. What kills me is that Arrietty has already shown versatility with her makeup, and Michelle commended her for toning down the nose highlight last week! It's just exhausting knowing that queens with quirks will always be told to tone those down while you know — you know — that Sam and Crystal will never be told to stop painting a beauty mug every single week. But really, Arrietty saying that the nose makes her feel beautiful and Michelle almost dismissively saying that she doesn't want to see Cats every week is high-key one of the most savage critiques I've heard. Because Arrietty is now in Michelle's sights, I worry about her progressing further.
Original Group Placement: 8th
My New Placement: 10th
Sam Star
An instant icon. No notes. The only note I could give to the editors is, "More Sam Star." Give us picture-in-picture of Sam Star reacting to the entire episode as it airs. Like, Sam Star's voice is so gay that she makes Laganja's "guh-guh-guh-gay" sound like "no homo."

It's amazing. It's empowering. It's refreshing. Killed the runway. Is absolutely on a Final Four trajectory.
Original Group Placement: 7th
My New Placement: Top 4
Onya Nurve
Again, crushing it. Onya owned this challenge, wisely choosing to fly solo in her jazzy rendition of Laganja's legendary standup set. Onya's superpower, at least as of now, is an ability to observe the moment and then rise to exceed it. She's taking in every note and seizing every opportunity (or trim). Plus, RuPaul is living for her. The only place she may fall short in the future is on the runway, as she's now served as many flops as tops when it comes to looks.
Original Group Placement: 6th
My New Placement: Top 4
Suzie Toot
I raved about Miss Toot when I named her our Gem of the Week, so please scoot over there for my thoughts. The TL;DR, though, is that Suzie saw Michelle's makeup critiques coming from a mile away and served up two completely different looks this week, earning her a deserved place in the top.

She's smart, and she's tapping her way to the finale.
Original Group Placement: 5th
My New Placement: Top 4
Lana Ja'Rae
What's going on, Lana? Another week, another safe placement — much to Lana's chagrin. Despite being the most beautiful queen in the cast, what makes her captivating in photos is not translating to the challenges or even the runway. With the dreaded "RDR Live" challenge next week, I think Lana's days are numbered.
Original Group Placement: 4th
My New Placement: 12th
Lucky Starzzz
Oops!
Original Group Placement: 3rd
Actual Placement: 14th
Kori King
Wow. Did not see this for the Dunkin' Diva. Kori is not performing at the level anyone would have predicted, especially Kori. There's just something off here, and not just the way that she and her sister Plane Jane share the exact same vocal patterns and head twitches. Is that the new Boston accent? Kori went too self-referential in the challenge, then tried way too hard to be funny — and this show does not love a try-hard. Unless she smashes whatever ludicrous sketch she ends up in next week and turns things around, I think Kori is on the way out.
Original Group Placement: 2nd
My New Placement: 11th
Hormona Lisa
She's ... not a winner, baby. Listen: I still stand behind my truth that, from my own professional, in-person interactions, Hormona is the absolutely loveliest and most of her sisters agree! I think we're seeing more of that side of her in Untucked, the way she went to Joella's side in her moment of need. And I think Hormona got the shady "she's a total wreck — not!" edit in the Maxi Challenge. There's a lot of late bloomer energy here, which feels at odds with the gust of gusto she gave off in the Meet the Queens.
Original Group Placement: 1st
My New Placement: 7th
As it stands right here, right now, I believe we're looking at a finale with Suzie, Onya, Sam, and Lexi. As for the next out, I think Lana, Kori, and Acacia's time is about to run out. But as the very premise of this recap demonstrates, I have no idea what I'm talking about.