Drag Race is now a global franchise, airing multiple episodes every week.* There are dozens of queens werking it out for not just their country's respective crown, but for our attention. Every queen is captivating — but only one of them is a true gem. Pop Heist's Drag Race Gem of the Week singles out one special queen from that week's competitors and presents her with a gem. Or inducts her into our Hall of Gems. Maybe both? Neither are real, so why choose?
The Week: Jan. 19 to Jan. 25
The Episode: RuPaul's Drag Race 17x04, "Bitch, I'm a Drag Queen!"
The Gem: Suzie Toot
* It's absolutely my luck that Drag Race would pare down to a sensible one-episode-per-week so soon after the opening of our Hall of Gems. And by my estimates, the pace may not pick up until spring. Whatever — we will make it work.
Now, let's talk about little miss Toot. This week, our Depression-era diva went MTV punk for the absolutely ridiculous "Bitch, I'm a Drag Queen" compilation commercial parody and then served up some Directed By Peter Jackson elven realness for the quilt runway. Y'all —Suzie Toot came here to ace this test, and the bitch has studied.
Coming into RuPaul's Drag Race, it's absolutely clear that Suzie knew that her biggest weakness would be her signature Betty Boop mug. Not that it's a bad mug per se, although it felt like nearly every Drag Race recapper circa early January was considering going class action against Ms. Toot for trauma. But the mug was mugging, and if there's one thing Michelle Visage hates, it's when the girls come into the challenge with an idiosyncratic aesthetic — gray hair, exaggerated lips, a hot dog color scheme, dots.
Suzie came in, gave the judges her signature quirky beat for the weeks wherein she could not go home, then turned out an unexpected devilish flapper look in Episode 3 — and then, bam, this.
Va-ri-e-ty! Suzie knew what Michelle was going to say, so Suzie already done took the note. Michelle even says as much in Episode 4's critiques. Meanwhile, poor Arrietty — who has also varied up her looks, mind you! — got hit with one of the nastiest critiques I've heard in a while. Comparing Arrietty's gorgeous stamp to Cats? Cats?! What the Jellicle?
I ain't even mentioned how Suzie ate the challenge up — and this was an insane challenge. Only on Drag Race would they ask contestants to sing, choreograph, conceptualize, art direct, stage manage, and perform a full 30-ish second parody music video. On Drag Race, every fucking week is Restaurant Wars.
Suzie rose to the challenge like it was nothing, clearly identifying the vibe of her song (a rock and roll riff on Aja's Valentina rant from Season 9) and then executing as if she was actually, in fact, Joan Jett. Challenge: slaughtered.
At this point, queens, Suzie Toot is the one to boot — I mean beat. Welcome to the Hall of Gems, Suzie. Long may you reign — and by "long" I mean until next Monday!
Follow Suzie Toot on Instagram at @suzie.toot.
