'Twas the Date Before Christmas
Writer: Ramona Barckert
Director: Bradley Walsh
Cast: Amy Groening, Robert Buckley, Patrice Goodman, Karen Waddell, Sean Cullen
Amy Groening (The Santa Summit) plays Jessie, a newly single woman who works in fiber optics marketing (a fact that the movie really wants you to know!). She's trying to get back out on the dating scene, but she keeps dating the worst of the worst dude-bros in her nonspecific, non-New York urban center. Jessie's resigned to spending Christmas with her family flying solo when her mom (Karen Waddell) breaks the news: All those Christmas traditions Jessie was looking forward to? They're gonna retire those.
Not on Jessie's watch.
That's when Jessie, a gal who loves tradition, exaggerates the truth using an idea that I'm sure she got from approximately 893 previous Hallmark movies: They can't cancel all the traditions, because Jessie's bringing a guy to the family Christmas. Who? TBD — but her family doesn't need to know that part. How will she find a guy? How's about posting online about wanting to take a blind date to her family Christmas?
Enter: Robert Buckley (The Christmas House) as Bryan, the heir apparent to a property developing firm who just isn't ready to suit up and make the big CEO decisions. He too is accustomed to spending the holidays alone, which is why he slides into Jessie's DMs upon seeing her offer. A Christmas blind date is such a spectacularly bad idea that Bryan kinda can't say no.
Jessie did forget to mention that her family traditions consist of a day of intense, holiday-themed competitions. Oh — and that one small business that Bryan's company needs to evict by the end of the year in order to move ahead with a major development deal? Uh, about that ...
Home For the Holidays: While it's unclear where Jessie calls home (let's call it "Vanconnectirado"), the entire movie is built around her family traditions. Bryan finds himself suddenly competing in the 23rd annual Chamberlain Family Christmas Olympics! There's a wrap battle, a bake-off, a closing ceremony light show, and lucky elf hats that inexplicably have antlers.
'Twas the Night Before This Movie: Everyone, please welcome "fiber optics marketing" to the Hallmark Protagonists' Vague Career Club! I lived for every mention of fiber optics.
- "To the best fiber optics marketing team in the world!"
- "And how is the fiber optics business?"
- "Oh, so you know a lot about fiber optics, Brian?"
They Brought Presence: The entire Chamberlain family really brought it. It is so rare to have a Hallmark movie feature this many clearly defined, fully developed characters — it's actually hard to pick just one! I loved Mimi Kuzyk as the intense, Joan Crawfordesque Aunt Lilly, a woman who runs the family Christmas as if it were the Navy. But I also have to shout out Sean Cullen, whose gregarious and fastidious stepdad Marcus was a scene-stealing delight. He reminded me of a heterosexual Ginger Minj, which is high praise.
Ho Ho Ho: When warning his family to mind their footfalls around his flan, Marcus says, "They're like children sleeping in a bunk bed at camp. Do you want to scare them?"
As Advertised: The only real problem I have with 'Twas the Date Before Christmas is with its title. It's way too vague for such a surprising, specific, and surprisingly specific movie. Blind Date Christmas is literally right there. It's said multiple times in the movie!
But why nitpick when, no matter what it's called, 'Twas the Date Before Christmas absolutely delivers everything you would possibly want in a Hallmark holiday movie — and more? This movie really had no right to be this good or this original, considering that it has the most tried-and-true — or just plain tired — holiday movie plot ever. I honestly thought Hallmark had some nerve kicking off Countdown to Christmas with yet another pretending-to-be-a-couple-at-Christmas movie — but I was wrong.
'Twas the Date Before Christmas manages to make the formula feel fresh, subverting it by having both Jessie and Bryan in on the con from the get-go and building out the world with the delightfully bizarre Christmas Olympics. And, possibly knowing that the premise is so worn out, the script keeps adding new wrinkles to the situation, propelling the plot forward. There's not a dull moment in this one.
And really, that's what you want from a Hallmark holiday movie. Not only do you want a movie that's a blast to watch when it premieres, you also want one that you'll want to rewatch all season long. You'll definitely want to go out with 'Twas the Date Before Christmas again and again.
