Canada's Drag Race: All Stars Season 1, Episode 3
"The Design Auction"
Host: Brooke Lynn Hytes
Judges: Jimbo, Priyanka, Christian Allaire (guest)
Cast: Aurora Matrix, Jada Shada Hudson, Juice Boxx, Makayla Couture, Nearah Nuff, Sami Landri, Tiffany Ann Co.
Oh girl, there is a lot to talk about when the queens return to the Werk Room after Pythia's elimination. I mean, that elim was shocking, but the girls can't even really focus on that because there is piping hot tension between Makayla Couture and, well, everyone else. What started as a feud with Jada Shada Hudson ("Ya named us Tea Bags! Great!") quickly spreads to Nearah Nuff who calls Makayla out. This is what All Stars is partially all about: the two straight shooting shit talkers from back to back seasons being dropped into the same pressure cooker. It's funny comparing how Nearah responds to this situation with Sami Landri, who essentially sheepishly raises her hand, waits to be called upon, and then politely, quietly, gently comes to Jada's defense.
The smoke of course clears in the morning and there's all sorts of making up, but that fight exposed a lot of alliances. The Kitty Katz (Aurora Matrix, Juice Boxx, Tiffany Ann Co., and Nearah Nuff) are clinging to each other. Sami and Jada, who've voted the same way two weeks in a row, are aligned. And then Makayla is an island, trying to paddle back to the mainland. But whose beach will she land upon?
Jimbo enters the Werk Room for both a Mini Challenge (more like a Mini Experience?) and the opening salvo of the Maxi Challenge. First, we get a guest appearance from Season 4's Melinda Verga, who is administering a polygraph test to the dolls. The whole setup is a bit confusing, since they usually bring in an actual polygraph straight to work the machine. Also, Tiffany and Juice Boxx think the moon landing was faked and, oh my god, I hope they're just playing cute for TV. Stop believing conspiracy theories! They are tools of the right! But Tiffany wins $2500, which felt like they were announcing the winner and the fact that it was a contest at the same time.
Now for the main event: the Design Auction. Taking a cue from Survivor, the queens are each given 100 beaver bucks to use to secure materials from which to construct eleganza, or take a chance on some mystery items that could help or, the case of one plain iced coffee, caffeinate them. Aurora gets stuck with a $30 iced coffee (which isn't implausible in American coffee chains); Nearah scores a design session with Season 2's Suki Doll; and Makayla snatches a time freeze button, that works like the one on Nailed It!
The girls get to sewing, which gives us the usual sewing challenge storylines — Sami can't believe she picked metal to work with, Juice is traumatized from going home on a previous design challenge, Tiffany and Makayla talk dropping out of fashion school for drag. Of note, we get Tiffany talking about how Asian people are portrayed on television as agreeable, and how she wants to represent for the queer Asian kids who are like her. Memorable line: if you want agreeable, get a fucking dog. "I'm a bitch, but I'm not a dog."
Nearah even gets a moment of vulnerability during her half hour check-in/design sesh with Suki. The challenge has brought Nearah to tears, and not because she chose the theme "Sexy Easter Sunday" and is running with it. She really does not feel confident in design challenges, and the way that tough queen exterior cracks open here is ... dare I say it ... kind of endearing. If I'm a story producer, this moment secures Nearah a spot in the finale.
As for the other advantage, Makayla waits for the most opportune time to hit the freeze button, which — is there one, really? The shadiest time is like, when there's 10 minutes left on the clock total, so you're cutting your competitors' time off for real, leaving whatever is unfinished unfinished. Makayla doesn't do that. And right before the runway, Aurora and Juice Boxx lay out their alliance pecking order: Kitty Katz first, then Makayla. Sami and Jada are disposable. The two of them really need to stay in the top.
Aurora's leather and feathers look works surprisingly well, giving high-powered boss bitch. Juice Boxx makes the bizarre choice of serving fortune teller at a funeral for the "Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous" runway. Nearah's look is fine, like the church dress section of a JC Penny got merged with a Charlotte Russe. Jada's "Nigerian queen" look makes an impact thanks to the huge zebra print purse and hat, but the dress is a tube with a corset around it. Sami skates by with an average look that's slightly elevated by kooky spiky titties and what I can only call loin cloth glasses. Makayla's concept of being sandwiched between a gorgeous ruffle, like a Venus flytrap or "sexy fruit rollup," as Jimbo says. And lastly, Tiffany has a rhinestone-covered bodysuit.
The bottoms are pretty crystal clear: Tiffany and Juice Boxx, sure. Nearah? Yeah, the panty patrol issued a citation. Aurora is the clear winner (two weeks in a row, frontrunner!), and I guess Jada is the rightful runner-up. Overall, it was kind of a mid design challenge. But putting the other three Kitty Katz in the bottom is kind of a gag, because it torpedoes the strongest alliance.
Like in Episode 1, Nearah turns her plea for the Beaver into a humble brag, except in the opposite way. Last time it was "put me in the bottom because I will annihilate"; this time it's "save me from the bottom so the other two have a fair fight." Nearah's confidence is versatile, baby. But while they are pleading their case, Sami and Jada are finally playing strategy: if they can both vote for the same girl, maybe they get to pull someone into their duo.
Aurora votes to save Juice Boxx; Makayla votes to save Tiffany; and Jada and Sami both vote to save Nearah Nuff. The offer has been subtly extended to Nearah.
The lip sync is to "Conga" by Gloria Estefan and — what is Tiffany wearing? It looks like she's wearing all of her bras at once and a ratty boa as a skirt. Oh — and it's all neon pink and orange. Tiffany wins, although I think it's close, but wow is Tiff lucky that they don't judge lip sync looks. And Juice Boxx — Canada's Porkchop — is out of the competition, but at least she increased her booking fee!
