Welcome to the 2025 Heistmas Advent Calendar, a daily drop of pop culture Christmas icons, oddities, and joy. Check back every day from now through December 25 for each daily entry!
I'm a Saturday Night Live fan, and a bit of a nerd for the history of the show. Throw in my love of all things Christmas, and I've of course watched just about every holiday sketch the show's ever done, many of them multiple times.
This means that I am well-positioned to tell you all which SNL Christmas sketch is the absolute best, and no one will ever disagree with me! Seriously, though, for my money the best holiday sketch is not "Schweddy Balls," or John Malkovich reading Twas the Night Before Christmas, or even the forever bop that is "(Do It On My) Twin Bed." No, the best SNL holiday sketch just needs three things: A Christmas tree, a chair, and Steve Martin.
Originally broadcast in 1986, the sketch sees Martin comfortably positioned in front of the tree, ready to tell you all about his dearest Christmas wish: That all the children of the world would "join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace."
Normally this is the part where I'd deconstruct the whole sketch a little bit, but I'm not going to do that. If you've somehow never seen this, I want to preserve the experience of Martin undercutting his wish with a second wish, and then a third, and then... Well, just watch it and you'll understand.
I love this sketch so much, so much that I've long since committed it to memory. I love the simplicity of it. It relies on great writing, and of course a great performance. I'm not sure anyone but Martin could have pulled this off, or if they could, they couldn't do it as well. He's always had that Guy Who Can Get Away With Anything vibe going for him, and even when he's descended into absolute seasonal selfishness by the end of this monologue, you kinda can't help hoping he gets what he wants. Rascally funny guys with hearts of gold are a staple of holiday comedy, and Steve Martin does that better than anyone except maybe Danny Kaye. It's a masterpiece.
Check back tomorrow for even more Heistmas Advent Calendar Goodies!
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