What's the best thing on the menu at Wendy's? Yes, I guess the nuggets are superior to everyone else's. And the Frosty too, that's good. But the real thing that none of the other fast food restaurants offer? Chili.
Burger King once offered chili, but only one titan of spiced beef can live, so it was removed from the menu in 2002. 2002 was 22 years ago. There are people who can drink alcohol now who never lived in a world with Burger King chili. 9/11 changed America.
I don't want to go into the history of chili because that seems like a bad use of your time. Rest assured that good chilis have a tomato base, finely chopped vegetables, beans, plenty of spices, and meat (if you're not a vegetarian). If you are a vegetarian, there are meatless chilis and they're pretty tasty and great sources of fiber.
Fun fact: Walt Disney's favorite food was chili and he wasn't even a hobo or a single dad.
Anyway, Wendy's chili is tasty as hell, and it reheats better than anything else on the Wendy's menu. So what's the next logical step for this yummy semi-liquid? Buy that baby at the store. Bring him home. Eat him there.
Yes, getting on the restaurant-foods-sold-in-supermarkets train like T.G.I. Fridays microwaveable appetizers (proposed advertising slogan: "Our chicken wings will give you diarrhea that is somehow different from the diarrhea you get from our restaurants") and Chi-Chi's salsa ("Don't look up why we closed all of our physical locations"), Wendy's is selling their delicious chili in a can now.
I doubt I would be writing an article about this chili if it was a dud. I eat plenty of foods I feel are terrible that I don't feel the need to spend time writing about. In fact, Wendy's chili is the opposite: it's really, really good chili. Like, if I found a can of this chili in my stocking at Christmas, I'd think Santa really loved me, like he does in my fan fiction where he's also a spy and I'm Grover from Sesame Street.
Whereas most canned chilis offer BIG BEAN content and little itty-bitty almost-but-not-quite-a-peppercorn-sized pieces of "beef", Wendy's chili brings the meats. These are chunks of beef that are about the size of a peanut, which may not seem like a lot, but in the canned chili world it's a gamechanger. This is a chili with some heft that would start throwing punches if you accused it of being "watery" or "insubstantial."
The spices are authentic Wendy's spices, so this is a flavorful chili. The vegetables and beans don't feel like they're stealing the spotlight. Overall, in my opinion as a sometimes food critic, this is the best chili that's available over the counter. Yes, I am implying that somewhere there is a prescription chili that is better, but good luck finding it.
[Note to Editor from Ethan: Can we get a photo of a bowl of chili with the letters Rx superimposed on top?]
[Note to Ethan from Editor: No, never.]
The best part about Wendy's chili that comes in a can is that you're eating it warm right away. For me, the closest Wendy's is about 15 minutes away, which means once it's in my car, it's got 15 minutes to cool down, leading to a tasty, but tepid experience. Not anymore, buckeroo. You're heating this chili up, carrying it to your dinner table, coffee table, or retirement home tray, and digging right in. Add cheese, sour cream, crackers, scallions if you wish. Hell, add whatever you want. It's your home and you're no longer confined by the four walls of a Wendy's. Add brisket, bacon, bourbon, no one's going to stop you. You haven't been this free since college. This chili is THAT good and THAT liberating.
There is only one downside to Wendy's canned chili, and that's the price. I haven't seen a can of this premium chili for less than $4.75. But I look at it this way: a large chili from a Wendy's store is already $4. But that's 12 oz (technically the cup holds over 14 oz, but you can't fill all the way to the top because there are laws in this country, believe it or not). Wendy's canned chili is 15 oz, so the price is in line with what you can get through the drive through. It's the best chili hands down, and you're getting it for like $5.
The verdict: Wendy's chili in a can is guilty, guilty, guilty of being the tastiest thing I've ever eaten for lunch several days in a row now.
