RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 10, Episode 6
"Starrbooty: The Rebooty"
Director: Nick Murray
Cast: Jorgeous, Kerri Colby, Lydia B Kollins, Mistress Isabelle Brooks, Nicole Paige Brooks, Tina Burner
What will the legacy of All Stars 10 be? Every All Stars season has one, which makes sense considering this spinoff started with the worst and then best seasons the show has ever produced, in any iteration, on any continent. I think that's why we all still have so much excitement around All Stars, even if most All Stars seasons reside somewhere in the "meh" to "huh?" range. Judging right now, at the halfway point, All Stars 10 could go either way. It could end up somewhere close to the highs of All Stars 2, maybe close to All Stars 7. But there's still a chance it could crash land just above All Stars 1. It could go either way, and wow, does Episode 6 give this season a good hard shove in one direction — but we won't know which direction until the season finale.
Before we get to this week's challenge, we have to deal with the awarding of the Messy Points. Thankfully, these points were more disheveled than messy: Nicole Paige Brooks gave hers to Kerri Colby, Kerri gave hers to Lydia B Kollins, Tina gave hers to Nicole, and Lydia gave hers to Kerri.
Things of note: the way Mistress tried to stir up shit when Kerri didn't reciprocate with Nicole, and Nicole immediately shut that down ("We're not doing your stuff. She's doing what she wants, honey.") I loved that, because it felt like honesty slamming the door in the face of fake reality TV nonsense. Of course Tina was a little butthurt to realize that Kerri and Lydia have a stronger alliance than she and Lydia, but Tina wisely doesn't let that slip in front of the group ("No, I'm not hot"). Mistress is a gremlin, it's after midnight, and any hint of drama feeds her. Keep Mistress a Mogwai. That's the plan.
And Nicole is just so happy to have a point, singular. Iconic.
The Werk Room
And then the morning comes, the drama breakfast buffet opens, and Mistress eats good. First, Nicole, fully in her own storyline, is calling herself "Number 1" and tells everyone to "suck it." Real queen shit. And second, Tina Burner actually is hot about not getting a point, no surprise. There's something about the way Tina approaches these argu-cussions that does her no favors. She reacts like the argument done already happened, and she's resigned to a status quo that the other person is actually oblivious to. It's a way of overreacting while playing like you're rising above the drama. Tina did correctly clock that Lydia didn't want to narrow her lead over Tina — which is the game. And kudos to Lydia for, at least in the edit, being able to clearly state her position.
Imagine if these queens could have these conversations without Mistress Isabelle Brooks right there. Mistress, sensing that the contents of the pot have settled, whips out a jackhammer and then proceeds to demolish the entire kitchen when she lies and says that Lydia and Tina were conspiring to pull the same stunt she and Jorgeous did, thus icing Kerri and Nicole out at 0 points. In reality, Mistress whispered this plan to Lydia and Tina, and they made the mistake of having ears within range of Mistress' voice.
I fully cannot imagine being able to lie as quickly and chaotically as Mistress, nor can I imagine drawing glee from said ability, nor can I imagine not being racked with unbelievable guilt for weeks after having done it.
Thankfully for the editors, Ru Mail arrives and they no longer have to make narrative sense of all this gay chicken coop nonsense. This week, it's Starrbooty: The Rebooty, cast entirely by Mistress Isabelle Brooks. It is wild that the cast fell into place that easily, that quickly, but I also think Mistress gives herself a little too much credit. Kerri seemed to know what was going on, but she also clocked that Mistress was trying to force her into ... a role that was probably written for her. Fighting it would just give Mistress what she really wants: conflama. So Mistress, Jorgeous, and Lydia become the villains, and Tina, Nicole, and Kerri become the heroes.
Or do they? Because the most villainous move during the recording session comes from Nicole Paige Brooks. Girl, Nicole's silly gag about falling asleep while Mistress is recording her part, it's so stupid and perfect. NPB is absolutely the star of this bracket. Oh — and Leland is finally back in the "booth" (a.k.a. cavernous Main Stage with little audio equipment or acoustic treatment.
Special shout out to the editors, who lay so much track down in the Werk Room prep for the gaggery to come. First, they showed Kerri doing well in the recording and rehearsal, giving a fully-formed character and giving comedy — something we know the judges wanted from her in Season 14. Then we get another round of talking about Mistress and Jorgeous betraying their fellow Texas girlie, Kerri being gagged about that but still having hope that Mistress will make things right should they have a point to give. Kerri even says she'd consider giving her point to Mistress, and there's even confessional footage of Mistress saying she would give a point to Kerri. I will admit: the first time I watched this episode, I bought it.
I was wrong.
The Maxi Challenge
Y'know, after a few seasons of Rusicals that consistently screamed, "No, this is how you win an Emmy!" — it was nice to have a Rusical that's just stupid. Middle of the road, barely any staging, just two trios doing a number each, a "big" finale, and a whole lot of dick, pussy, and booty puns. And I will point out the incorporation of actual fight choreo into these numbers, which is actually something my husband and I have long wanted to see on Drag Race. I don't know, we watch a lot of deeply stupid '80s action movies and frequently wish they starred drag queens.
As with pretty much every episode of the season so far, no one was a flop. I think Jorgeous, Tina, and Lydia were as good as expected, with Tina leveling up from her previous Rusical; Mistress was a step down from the Season 15, but still good; Nicole did Nicole and bless her for it. To me, though, the real star was Kerri Colby, who pulled off exactly what the judges have been wanting from her for years: a confident, sexy performance that also leaned into comedy. Surely she will be rewarded!
The Runway
Category is: Wild Wild West. What in the gay hell is Nicole Paige Brooks wearing? It looks like a My Little Pony Halloween costume, but one from the '80s that should have a giant "My Little Pony" logo on the front. Of course no '80s Halloween costume would be fully ass-less like this one is, complete with a tail that looks like a giant, crimped wig emerging from betwixt NPB's ass cheeks. It's so wrong that it circles past right, back into wrong, and is therefore perfect for Nicole Paige Brooks.
Tina Burner comes out as a Wild West Wonder Woman, and it's pretty excellent. It's a look that's full of references (the lasso detailing) but doesn't feel costume-y (or copyright infringe-y). And it's another example of what Tina's capable of when she isn't wearing a palette inspired by McDonald's condiments.
Kerri's look is stunning, Cowboy Carter as avant-garde wearable art. The jewel drips off the huge hat, the chaps that look like they're made of organza, the tornado-inspired bodice — it fully gives Wild West, and then it doesn't, but when you look even closer it absolutely does. It's breathtaking. Surely this bodes well for Kerri!
And then Mistress comes out in a look that she 100% had in her closet from years and years ago, that she just put in her suitcase and hit it to the airport. It's not original, it's not exciting, it's barely on-theme, and the nude illusion is saggy. This might be the worst Mistress has looked on Drag Race.
It doesn't help that Mistress is sandwiched between Kerri and then Lydia, who comes out as a genderfuck cowperson in a denim and cowprint jumpsuit with exaggerated, reverse batwing chaps (yes, I looked up styles of chaps), a cow skull cowboy hat, and thick rope detailing. It's unhinged, on-theme, on-brand, and exquisite. The leap Lydia has made in her design capabilities between Season 17 and now — in just a few weeks, if that!!! — boggles the mind.
And then Jorgeous is a saloon girl.
The Critiques
Everything is clocked correctly, except for Carson's bizarre comment about Kerri's hat being too square. Carson thought Nicole's cotton candy BDSM pony was perfect, and he's saying shit to Kerri? No sir. Still, RuPaul says Kerri should do voiceover work. Michelle heaps praise upon Kerri's performance. The critiques are good. Everyone gets a positive (Tina delivered, Jorgeous should be on Broadway) and a negative (Mistress's arms looked tiny, Nicole couldn't find a single beat), except for Lydia. Universal praise, and deserved.
Lydia being in the top makes sense, for the runway alone (if the runway mattered). And then — wait, Jorgeous?! What?! The gag of the week. RuPaul likes who RuPaul likes. She's the Danny Tanner and those are his two daughters, DJ and Stephanie Tanner (the Michelle is currently a baby but will compete on Drag Race Season 28). Oh well!
Fortunately Nicole Paige Brooks is on the case. She was, after all, the brains of her Rusical trio. She whispers to Tina, "You want to keep Mistress out of the top?" Not "do you want to send Kerri to the semifinals." Specifically, do you want to take a whack at Mistress. Delicious.
The Lip Sync
"TEXAS HOLD' EM." Maybe it's because I started watching Drag Race when they could only afford album tracks from A-listers or the Hex Hector remix of hit singles, but I'm still gagged every time they get a top-shelf song from a top-tier artist. And this moment was made for Jorgeous, who's signature Punch the Ghost move has evolved into a Vibe with the Ghost move, with both arms jutting outwards casually as she pivots on one heel. There's just confidence and grace there, and she's wearing the damn Texas flag, so ... yeah.
Lydia, fully aware this is not her moment, just has fun with it. She sits on the edge of the stage and takes off her 1994 shag wig to reveal the rain-soaked goth unit she had on the runway. It's a good performance, but this was Jorgeous'.
But y'know what? Kerri is from Texas, too! Who knows what she couldn't done to "TEXAS HOLD 'EM"? We never will!
The Messy Points
Let's do math! Jorgeous ends the lip sync with 7.5 points, Lydia with 6. Mistress has 4.5, and Kerri and Tina have 2 each. Nicole is out, no way of winning, but Nicole remembers that convo in the Werk Room where Mistress implied she would give a point to Kerri — that she owed it to Kerri. So if Nicole and Tina give their points to Kerri and Mistress makes good on her word, Kerri gets to the finals.
Nicole gives her point to Kerri. Tina gives her point to Kerri. Kerri gives her point to Tina. And then Mistress ...
There's a line. There has to be a line. And Mistress crossed it when she scammed Kerri, her ally, out of a point after the first challenge. But that was early in the game and there was still time to make things right. Plus, good TV, a gaggy moment, one we will be talking about forever. But this? Admitting on the Main Stage that you stole a point from her, then saying Kerri did well in the challenge, and then saying, "However, I knew she was going to be a fake bitch and not give me her point," and then giving it to Lydia?
I dunno, fuck you, Mistress Isabelle Brooks?
I don't normally get that heated over Drag Race, because this is a television show that is produced, edited, and presented in a manner that doesn't necessarily reflect reality. It's fun. But there's something just nasty about this that doesn't feel fun. It feels weirdly personal, like Mistress hates Kerri — but I don't think that's true, nor is that the story being told this season. It's calling Kerri a "fake bitch" in front of RuPaul, when — as far as this episode is concerned — Kerri never promised a point to Mistress, not the way Mistress did to Kerri. It feels very, "Not only am I going to keep you from $200,000, I'm also going to insult your character just because I think it'll be funny." It's shitty.
Kerri's confessional response: "Yeah, I am a motherfucking fake bitch — to you, girl. Because what the fuck? You've been nothing but fake this entire fucking competition. And you really fucking tried me, and I know you feel like shit for that, you bitch."
It's one of the most scathing indictments in Drag Race herstory. But the thing is, I don't think Mistress does feel like shit. I guess I'll have to wait and see if these two work it out on a YouTube video. [UPDATE: Yep, there's a YouTube video]
Next week: Bracket 3, and there is no way it's going to be messier than this.
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