Murder, She Wrote Season 2, Episode 14
"Keep the Home Fries Burning"
Original airdate: Jan. 19, 1986
Writer: Philip Gerson
Director: Peter Crane
Cast: Angela Lansbury, William Windom, Tom Bosley, Sharon Acker, Norman Alden, Orson Bean, Gary Crosby, Anne Francis, William Lucking, John McCook, Donna Pescow, Henry Polic II, Marcia Rodd, Alan Young, Dale Raoul, W. Earl Brown
There's a new diner in Cabot Cove, just off the interstate. Buoyed by low prices and the kind of tackier-than-thou Don't Tread on My Meatloaf patriotism your MAGA uncles crave, the Joshua Peabody Inn has Sheriff Amos Tupper weak in the knees. The siren song of giant laminated menus and Revolutionary War themed apps and entrees is enough to lure him away from Dixon's, the greasy spoon that's been comping his meals since two belt sizes ago. And he's taking most of the patrons with him.
So the saying goes: "Where goes Amos Tupper, so goes Cabot Cove."
Bo Dixon (Lucking) decides to follow Amos to the new eatery to see what all the fuss is about. He stomps through the episode downright apoplectic behind a gym teacher's mustache. He confronts long-suffering Cornelia (Prescow) who recently jumped ship from his establishment to follow the tips, even if it means wearing a dowdy bonnet and addressing customers as "Milady." From the looks of things, she made the right call. The place is packed with locals and tourists alike.
Seth ushers Jessica to the Peabody for breakfast as well, mostly to harass the sheriff over English muffins and sausage. The three share a table, where the doctor needles Amos, first for his zeal for the Great Pumpkin of Revolutionary War heroes and later for his gluttony. At the neighboring table, Wilhelmina (Acker) and Betty (Rodd), two wealthy gal pals en route to Boston—Jessica notes their Italian suede—giggle over the menu items. "Eggs Benedict Arnold?" Stop.
Proprietor Floyd Nelson (Young, the voice of Scrooge McDuck himself) is out gladhanding with customers between spats with Chef Dupree (Polic), who seems hellbent on freeing himself from his contract. Dude is bombing cinnamon on the cheese omelets with absolute abandon.
Cornelia can barely keep up with the morning rush. She wearily schleps a basket of fresh preserves from table to squabbling table, the camera following its progress with ominous portent. Amos asks one of the ladies at the neighboring table if they're done with the jams and she surrenders them to him, laughing that she's watching her figure. Jess and Seth abstain. At this point they're too astonished by Amos's bottomless hunger to really tuck in themselves. He shovels the apricot spread like an undertaker on commission, avoiding the strawberry outright. He's allergic. Seth and Jess fight over who gets to pay the bill, Jess arguing that Seth would've won last night's chess match if he hadn't been called away to deliver a baby. Amos reports that he's eating for free, as is custom for the local constabulary. Cops, man.
Red, White, and Bluuuuurrrrrrgghhhhh
As they wait in line to pay, another customer hurries in from outside, pleading for a doctor. His teenage son is in distress. Seth rushes to help, Jess and Amos close behind him. As more patrons make their way outside, a number of them randomly collapse. Following a heated meal, politician Eb McEnery (Bean) struggles to catch his nemesis, Mercer Hawthorne (Alden), as he falters. Wilhelmina, feeling faint herself, cries out as Betty — Gal Pal #2 — takes a header.
Seth scrambles from one party to another, noting feverish temperatures and dilated pupils. He orders Floyd to evacuate the restaurant. They need to get everyone to the county hospital and contact the Health Department to investigate. The rest of the diners and waitstaff emerge in a panic. Dupree surveys the tumult looking paler than his chef whites.
Betty's dead before an antediluvian ambulance reaches the parking lot.
Seth suspects food poisoning, but you know Jessica is already flicking through her mental rolodex of less common poisons.
Screen legend Anne Francis (Forbidden Planet, Honey West) descends on the hospital. This is Margo Perry of the Maine Health Department, a no-nonsense woman with little time for small town sheriffs, crusty country doctors, or bestselling mystery writers. The locals bristle at her dismissal of the Cove and its lack of a local TV station. Jess is particularly rankled by Mrs. Perry's amusement at the whole situation. The woman's licking her lips over the prospect of scientific discovery like Dr. Oz fawning over plague data. Seth's thinking Botulism at this stage, though he concedes that the symptoms came on too fast for that.
They abscond to the restaurant to take inventory of the leftovers, Amos noting to his horror that he'd sampled pretty much everything. Jessica finds one of the jam baskets, observing that one of the containers is missing.
Back at the hospital, Gal Pal #1 Wilhelmina's husband Harrison (soap icon McCook) arrives. Though he's relieved to learn his wife is alright, he takes news of their friend Betty's death very hard. Everyone in the waiting room and watching at home is extremely uncomfortable.
Seth finally determines it's not botulism but atropine poisoning. Jess was right. This was deliberate murder, with a number of collateral victims (though only Betty died). The main thing connecting Betty to the other patrons who developed symptoms is that traveling vessel of preserves, with one jam jar missing in the wake of the restaurant evacuation. Amos is on the case, running down all possible red herrings, from the (not) French chef, to the angry politician, to the vengeful rival diner owner.
So Wilhelmina Killed Her Friend, Right?
Yeah. She knew Betty was having an affair with Harrison, lured her out for a girls' trip, and poisoned the jam. She consumed a little bit herself to escape scrutiny. Unfortunately Amos had taken the basket while she was in the restroom, leaving it to continue circulating around the restaurant. Her conscience got the better of her on their way out and she doubled back to retrieve the poisoned jar, concealing it in her pocket book. The jam got all over the interior of the bag, so she tossed it into the river en route to the hospital.
Confronted with this, Wilhelmina refuses to give up the bag Jessica recognizes as Betty's. Harrison takes it forcibly and Jessica retrieves the keys from inside. It's all Wilhelmina kept of her own belongings, and they're still sticky with strawberry jam.
Case closed. Of course Mrs. Perry departed ages ago when the case turned from public health crisis to murder mystery. The locals celebrate at a bustling Dixon's. Floyd has good news and bad news: though the franchiser opted to pull out of the Joshua Peabody Inn, they've offered him a new role at the Ethan Allen Inn over in Vermont. All but Amos agree this is an upgrade. At least Ethan Allen is real. The sheriff slumps over his comped breakfast. Cops, man.
Next week, the return of Harry McGraw!
