Every heist's a machine in constant motion. Best it doesn't rattle. Putting together the right crew is the difference between bullion and the boneyard. In Heist-Ready we evaluate the players, note their specialties, their assets and liabilities, and determine whether they deserve a place in your little black book.
The Player: Mr. Fox
Home Turf: The English Countryside; Buckinghamshire?
Last Known Location: A Hole
Runs with: Mrs. Fox, Clive Badger (Attorney), Kylie Opossum
Specialties: cunning, guile, gentleman thief, lockpicking, planning, tunneling, newspaper connections, anthropomorphic, animal husbandry (both an animal and husband), is a furry little Danny Ocean, has met a wolf
The Lowdown
Given the small stakes of his youthful indiscretions — filching the occasional squab — most would deem Foxy a penny-ante crook, but we have opted to upgrade his status to "gentleman thief" due to his luxurious russet coat. It is unknown whether he has successfully stolen art, however.
At the moment we are designating this subject as inactive though hungry.
Foxy has remained largely off grid for two human years (12 fox years), having traded his vices for his vixen; they made a clean break when the wife came into the family way. Up until recently, they lived in a modest warren with his stipend from the Gazette. They have since made the move to a tree. A beech, we think. Far be it from us to cry foul (fowl?) on a fellow mook’s supposed rehabilitation, but we believe this transition spells doom for his efforts to domesticate.
Of note, the tree overlooks three poultry farms belonging to Misters Boggis, Bunce, and Bean. These individuals are known to us as being particularly cruel, figuring in local schoolground rhymes by name. Bean, a turkey and apple producer, is widely considered (though he is quite lean) the scariest man currently living. We believe Fox spent well beyond his means for these new digs with the intent of burglarizing the aforementioned farms. His recidivism could well be our gain in recruiting for future heists, even if his primary M.O. of pilfering poultry is deemed of limited value to most clients.
Most of the birds Fox lifts are of commensurate size and weight to sacks of money, like in cartoons. He is smaller than most career criminals and can squeeze into small spaces. He can also burrow, which feels rare and potentially useful if operations head out of doors.
Mr. Fox is not suited to every heist, of course. At the end of the day, he is a wild animal, given to frenzy and bouts of cussing even with friends and business partners. We do think he has far more aptitude for larceny than journalism though, and he's got that mortgage.
The Crew (so far)
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