All I Need for Christmas
Writer: Heidi R. Kling and Betsy Morris
Director: David I. Strasser
Cast: Mallory Jansen, Dan Jeannotte, Emily Tennant, Azriel Dalman, Mike Dopud, Iris Quinn, Veronica Long, Jaime M. Callica
Every year, Hallmark releases dozens of holiday movies — and Pop Heist staffer Brett White has seen them all. All Heistmas long, Brett checks out what Hallmark has to offer, analyzing each movie's setting (Home for the Holidays); calling out the most heavy-handed exposition ('Twas the Night Before This Movie); praising any LOL moments (Ho Ho Ho); singling out the scene-stealer (They Brought Presence!); and deciding if the title matches the story (Exactly as Advertised). To top it all off, each movie is judged on six quintessential Hallmark qualities to determine once and for all if this Hallmark Christmas movie hits or misses the (Hall)mark. Read more Hallmark Hit-or-Miss reviews here.
Mallory Jansen (On the 12th Date of Christmas) plays Maggie, a singer/songwriter whose big tour dates in Chicago have suddenly been canceled because the headliner needs an opener who's more of a draw. Maggie's manager Lewis (Kurt Long) suggests that she use the sudden downtime to take a breather, reconnect with her vibes, celebrate Christmas — and, of course, write a hit song. That leads Maggie back home to her parents' winter wonderland near the Finger Lakes in upstate New York.
Dan Jeannotte (Our Christmas Mural) plays Archer, one of two heirs to a tech/app dynasty whose place on the board is not a lock following his father's death. Y'see, his dad was a maniac who spent his entire life pitting Archer against his younger sister Piper (Holiday Hotline's Emily Tennant) — and you better believe dad's stoking that maladjusted rivalry from beyond the grave! When was the last time Archer had a good Christmas? Why, it was that one year when his family stayed in a rustic cabin near... the Finger Lakes in New York.
You know where this is going. These two are going to bump into each other and sparks are going to fly, first from conflict and then from unexpected chemistry. What you don't know, though, is that our girl Maggie is firmly anti-apps — and I don't mean fried calamari or Korean fried cauliflower. She believes that the Archline family of apps (essentially Auto-Tune, GarageBand, etc.) sucks the soul out of music production. Y'know, the apps that Archer's family makes? Yeah, the sparks are gonna be conflict-driven for a while.
Home for the Holidays: Maggie's family runs one of those Christmas tree farms that somehow sustain the lives of Hallmark families all year round. Maybe Maggie's dad will be able to pull in extra money via sponsorships now that he's become a #farmlife #pigdad influencer on Archer's not-TikTok app!
The real holiday tradition that we have to talk about, though, is the Succession-level madness that Archer and Piper's parents put them through. They put these kids to work early in life, and whichever kid had earned the most money by midnight on Christmas Eve would get their presents. The other one would not. Is this the most deranged tradition in Hallmark movie history? Maybe!
Twas the Night Before This Movie: I mean, this is incredibly basic but it's a classic bit of Hallmark movie exposition: "A manager can't come see his favorite client?" Wow, eight words establishing the professions of and relationship between two characters. You love to see it!
Ho Ho Ho: Completely unintentional humor, but I did chuckle at Archer first meeting Maggie in a barn, as she serenades a bunch of cute pigs like some kind of farmhand Snow White.
They Brought Presence! I thought Emily Tennant did a great job as Archer's initially-evil sister Piper. For the sibling of a lead character, Piper get a lot of focus and a solid emotional arc. And of course Tennant nails all of that — she's a pro!
Exactly as Advertised: It's incredibly gutsy to build a character's arc around writing the perfect modern Christmas song and then give the movie a name that is within striking distance of the only perfect modern Christmas song. And whatever tune Maggie comes up with, it ain't gonna touch Mariah. I'm sorry, Maggie!
The blandness of the title kinda gives away the movie's biggest problem: it's just not that memorable. In fact, Hallmark Mystery played another movie about a musician retreating to a small town in order to write the perfect holiday song right before this movie.
Maggie is also a curious lead character. She still uses a flip phone in the year 2024 and has such a distaste for apps that it borders on comical. There's a larger conversation to be had about technology's role in the music industry and the rise of AI ruining, uh, everything — but this movie doesn't really go for any of that. I'm not saying I expect to see discourse in a Hallmark movie, just saying that Maggie's dislike of Auto-Tune could have been a little more nuanced. There are a few scenes that dig into Maggie's history with music, and that's when the movie feels really unique. Like, give us more talk of her growing up listening to her parents' record collection!
But I'm stalling at this point because all I want to talk about is Archer and Piper's truly epic, lifelong blood feud for power and wealth, spurred on by their manipulative father. How is that not what the whole movie is about? The movie has a "by midnight on Christmas Eve" deadline and it doesn't apply to our heroine (like in A Reason for the Season)? It applies to the guy and the guy's sister? Forget the romance, give us Archer and Piper's sibling rivalry for 80 minutes. That's a Hallmark movie I want to see.
