Yeah yeah yeah, you know what's up, SPOILERS ahead for Marvel Studios' Thunderbolts*, in theaters now! Cool? Cool.
So — I mean, I gotta hand it to 'em. One overarching complaint about the Marvel Cinematic Universe post Avengers: Endgame has been that it's been a bit predictable. It's been a big blur of TV shows and movies, none of them connected, few standing out. And as franchise malaise has set in (it's not just a Marvel thing and it's not just a superhero thing, either), Marvel has seemed more and more desperate to get attention. Think: building all of The Marvels' last-minute promotion around the X-Men, or just giving us a ton of Harrison Ford Hulk footage in every Captain America: Brave New World spot. I didn't see Brave New World, but I've been told that the movie presented Red Hulk's identity as a mystery?
So, Thunderbolts* — ! With an asterisk. Very pointedly with an asterisk. So very much with an asterisk that there are whole posters built around that asterisk.
What's with the asterisk? Now that the movie is out, we know what's up with the asterisk — and while I'm personally still trying to figure out how I feel about it, I do have to hand it to Marvel for finally showing some restraint and carrying an actual, honest-to-Sentry reveal all the way to the end.
It's Thunderbolts* with an asterisk, as in "see footnote" or "a.k.a." or "placeholder," because the movie is actually titled New Avengers. Ta-da! The Aristocrats!
For those of you naughty moviegoers who are reading this before you see the movie — well, thank you. Please share this article. Please consider subscribing — here's how it plays out. The movie's third act is built around a conflict unlike any we've seen in the MCU, actually: Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) lost control of the god-tier super soldier she commissioned and forgot about — a really unfortunate fellow named Bob, now Sentry (Lewis Pullman). He's gone rogue, with an outer manifestation of his PTSD and depression using those godlike abilities to seemingly snuff every living being in its rapidly spreading shadow.
The Thunderbolts (which, yes, they do go by that name in the movie, sorta) band together and — they save New York City. I'm not going to give you a beat by beat breakdown, here. You need to experience the magic of cinema! But — our good-ish guys actually save the day and are left with one final task: bring de Fontaine to justice and have her ass thrown in jail for all of the human experimentation and murders that she's commissioned. But never count a contessa out, because Valentina has one more trick up her sleeve.
Surprise — a press conference! And every single super-antihero that she very much just spent the entire movie trying to have killed is now in front of dozens of cameras, being christened by Valentina (who, reminder, is the director of the C.I.A.) as the New Avengers. They aren't going to kill her now. She's just handed them the keys to Avengers Tower, literally.
But, because Valentina is dealing with a bunch of people who don't exactly have Steve Rogers-level morality, this cuts both ways. Black Widow/Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh) leans in and whispers to Valentina, "We own you now." What does she mean by that? Well, Valentina spent the entire movie trying to have Black Widow, U.S. Agent (Wyatt Russell), and Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) murdered because they are walking, talking proof that Valentina's been running a superhuman black ops squad for years. And then there's Bob, her experiment that nearly blipped NYC. But hey, he's feeling much better now.
The closing credits sequence features the media's reaction to the news of the New Avengers, which is mixed to put it best. And the post-credits scene, set 14 months later, features the New Avengers being hit with a copyright claim from Captain America (Sam Wilson), because he's putting his own team together. Also the Fantastic Four show up — but this article isn't about them! It's about the asterisk!
Here's what's annoying about Thunderbolts* really being New Avengers: It kinda feels like a copout, or some narrative sleight-of-hand. The world has been waiting for a new Avengers lineup for six years, and we have met plenty of candidates. Oh my god, so many candidates. This reveal does feel like a way to get it out of the way, to deflate all the pent-up hype — almost in a self-aware way. Like, Marvel knew that any grand roster reveal would be met with haters. This decision is absolutely going to be met with haters, but at least those haters are hating on something that Marvel itself is admitting, "Hey, this is a weird way to establish a new Avengers team. That's the point."
And from a comic book fan perspective, it's annoying that the New Avengers title — including the logo — has been kinda wasted on this gag. New Avengers #1 was a very big moment when it happened in 2005, and it would've been cool to get a New Avengers movie moment involving Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, and Wolverine all coming together onscreen.
But — also from a comic perspective, Thunderbolts* makes so much more sense as a New Avengers movie. Oh my god, it is so much better!
Y'see, Thunderbolts* has nothing to do with the Thunderbolts comic, something I go to great lengths to explain in our Thunderbolts Heist Guide. But New Avengers? Yes, yes that works. Winter Soldier played a big role in the New Avengers comics, and the first year of New Avengers stories involved the debut of Sentry and The Void. U.S. Agent is much more of an Avenger than a Thunderbolt in the comics. And having a Black Widow on the roster is also more Avengers-y. This lineup works for New Avengers. And this makes me slightly less annoyed that there's a movie titled "Thunderbolts" without Songbird and Moonstone in it.
Of course, if this means that Marvel has burned the Thunderbolts moniker and we'll never get an actual Thunderbolts movie ... ? That would suck. But if Thunderbolts* does well enough to merit a sequel, I would absolutely love to see Daniel Brühl's Baron Zemo break out of prison ... and totally steal and corrupt the reputation of Yelena Belova's little league soccer team.
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