Do you think Fox News anchors and Post reporters are like firefighters, taking days-long shifts in their skyscrapers waiting for the woke alarm to ring? Then they can jump to attention and get to work fanning the flames of the stupidest, most inane fires imaginable? They're anti-firefighters. The intention is to scorch everything around them, incinerating fun, joy, and — most dangerous of all — kindness. Burn it all down and wait to do it again. So ... there's a new Superman movie in theaters. This is a five-alarm woke, so get out the blowtorches.
I'm not quoting or linking out to anything being said or written, because that's what they want. They do not actually believe anything they are saying, because what they are saying is so stupid. And as little respect as I have for these grifters, I do think they're smart enough to see an opportunity, feign ignorance and outrage, and insidiously exploit the anger attention they've scammed from their followers. They're not angry at some pop culture thing being "woke," whatever they're defining as "woke" today; they're actually angry because they have correctly clocked that they are being (accurately) called out as villains in everything from Daredevil to Andor and now Superman. What a rough year it is for bigots who love big franchise entertainment but somehow lack even a modicum of media literacy!
If you want to see what they're saying, it's not hard. They don't need my help. But what I can do — and what I love doing, honestly — is dig through newspaper archives in search of written proof that whatever crap conservatives are shoveling now is very stupid. I like finding proof that we — America — used to be, well, far from perfect but also not this stupid. So, with the scandalous debut of a "woke Superman" in the zeitgeist, let's see what actual written history has to say about this — starting with the most obvious thing of all:
Superman is an immigrant.
There's a reason why Superman spends, uh, maybe 30 seconds on Superman's entire origin: every sentient person on Earth knows Superman's origin. Grant Morrison boiled it all down to eight words, Frank Quitely in four panels on the opening page of All-Star Superman: "Doomed planet. Desperate scientists. Last hope. Kindly couple." We all know this, and once upon a time, we all agreed to the baseline reality that this obvious truth was obviously true.
First, there's the identity of Superman's creators, Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel. From the start, that has always been part of their story — and Superman's (by more than mere association).
Starting with his debut in 1938, Superman's origin story — that of an immigrant from a dead world, adopted by American farmers — persisted through comic books, comic strips, radio serials, animated and live-action film serials, and television adaptations. It became shorthand — as seen in this innocuous, question-and-answer article from 1974 that calls Superman an "illegal Kryptonese immigrant."
There are only two things I take issue with in the above: the word "Kryptonese," which just feels wrong, and the description of Superman's logo as being lime green. Lime green, red, and blue? Those colors, together? Who is Superman, a beach volleyball player from 1989?
And when the first full-length Superman movie hit theaters in 1978, journalists were once again tasked with summing up Superman's origin — with some light, telling, editorializing.
To quote, "There is something peculiarly American about the Superman myth, which explains its enduring popularity. America is the Newfound-land, the Home of the Brave, the Land of Opportunity. So the child Kal-el travles the ocean of space in a tiny ship — a space ship — an immigrant to a new world."
Superman's inherently American origin, as an immigrant, was also examined in the late '80s upon the character's 50th anniversary. The Smithsonian opened an exhibit called "Superman: Many Lives, Many Worlds" in the Nation of Nations section where "America pays homage to its immigrants."
Quoted above, the exhibit's project manager Ellen Roney Hughes said, "If you think about [Superman's origin], it fits. It stretches, but it fits. Clark Kent is an immigrant — from Krypton." The Smithsonian said that!
And lastly, the man of steel's birthday led to the publication of an essay collection — Superman at Fifty: The Persistence of a Legend — that, of course, featured musings and analysis on Superman's relationship to the American dream. In an essay titled "What Makes Superman So Darned American?," the book's co-editor Gary Eagle wrote that Superman embodies "the value of the immigrant in American culture."
Can we — and by "we" I mean "all you right-wing grifters on cable and YouTube" — please all stop acting like Superman is just now being labeled an immigrant? No one believes that. Next!
Superman was created to be an actively political figure.
We've established that Superman was created by the two sons of Jewish immigrants, and that Superman's status as an immigrant was and is an inextricable part of his character ... and he was introduced in 1938. Hmmm ... any major political events happen around then? Any real world narratives that Superman, of all the fictional characters in 1930s pop culture, should absolutely insert himself into?
Fully a year and a half before America got involved in World War II, even six months before Captain America made his debut by socking it to Hitler on a comic cover, the actual Nazis were denouncing Superman. This made news everywhere, resulting in more or less the exact same article but some truly A+ headlines.
WARNING: The articles themselves contain, y'know, quotes from actual Nazis so they are reprehensible and incredibly anti-semitic. But I also think it's important to include them so you can compare the petty, insidious, hyperbolic vitriol found in their choice of words with the kind of things we're hearing today.
And I think it's also important to include the way that the papers reporting on these matters clapped back at Nazis — including in the above article, where the vice president of the newspaper syndicate said that Superman has been praised by "parents' associations and Sunday school groups" for "it's ideas about justice prevailing, its standing up for the right and its being against whatever is wrong."
And just want to highlight that last bit from Springfield, Missouri: "The News thinks it will continue [Superman] for a while, anyway, even risking nazi disapproval." The sarcasm is still dripping, 85 years later. Imagine any news organization inserting that kind of — gasp — "bias" in their reporting today.
If you see any idiots complaining about Superman inserting himself into current political events, specifically ones involving genocide, remember: Superman has been pissing off genocidal monsters from the start. It's what he does.
And lastly ...
Superman hates bigots — and he does something about it.
In the summer of 1946, rumors started to swirl about the return of the Ku Klux Klan. Just a few years earlier, the second incarnation of the racist, terrorist organization had been officially disbanded after pressure from the IRS. But now there were rumblings that the Klan was back, operating out of Georgia.
Enter: f'ing Superman.
You want a summer blockbuster? Howsabout Superman fighting the Ku Klux Klan both on the radio and in the real world? That's what happened when the Adventures of Superman radio serial kicked off the 16-part "Clan of the Fiery Cross" storyline. Armed with actual intel from a spy that infiltrated the KKK (Stetson Kennedy), Superman spent the summer of 1946 fighting this thinly-veiled Klan analogue, exposing their actual secret rituals to a massive audience. This led to reporters reaching out to actual Klansmen for their comments, which finally confirmed that the Klan was back. Imagine writing an article that starts with "The grand dragon had no immediate comment Tuesday night" —
Also, the grand dragon of the "mother clan" in George was a doctor. He actually told a reporter, "It so happens that I practice medicine for a living. I do the other [act as grand dragon of the Klan] for pleasure." For pleasure! Does this brazen racism, this pride in one's own bigotry sound familiar?
For a sample of what Superman had to say about this "Clan of the Fiery Cross," it was quoted and printed for everyone to read:
Let's repeat that narration from Superman: "Real men don't hide behind sheets. Only rats and hyenas persecute a man because of his race, creed or color." Sheets, masks, really the sentiment holds up.
Partially because of Superman's radio serial drawing the Klan out of the shadows and exposing their inner workings to the entire country, the states of Georgia and Kentucky started to take legal action against the Klan in the summer of 1946. The Klan wasn't happy about this and tossed threats at the show's producer.
And once again, the news — from the standpoint of reporting the objective truth — described the KKK as what they actually are: "a secret organization of self-appointed vigilantes which terrorizes racial minorities." They're not a special interest group or an organization with concerns about immigration or some bullshit. They're terrorists, and the news was brave enough to actually call them that in 1946.
Remember: no one had a problem with Superman inserting himself into these very real fights — except bigots and Nazis. Keep that in mind this weekend as you read headlines about this superhero movie.
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